


Letting Him Go

by TheSleepyProducer



Category: NCIS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13409883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSleepyProducer/pseuds/TheSleepyProducer
Summary: Tony and Kate are a newly married couple, but not everything is bliss. When the unthinkable happens, the couple learns to lean on each other and the team in the hardest challenge they have ever faced, letting go of one of their teammates.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a scary thought for Tony little alone his wife that was watching him go through this. Just a few weeks ago Tony thought he had caught some kind of cold and had a really bad cough. With each passing day the cough only got worse until he was coughing up blood. Even then he wasn't going to go to the hospital, but Kate instead that he go get checked out. Now here they were sitting in the doctor's office looking at the scans and blood work. All which killed every dream they ever had together. They had only been married 3 months, they wanted children together but now all of that was being ripped to shreds. Tony and Kate both set there in pure shock as they heard the doctor say Stage 4 lung cancer, there was no way of catching it in time. It had already spread to his colon, his prostrate and the scariest of all, his brain. Kate tried hard to fight back the tears as she held her dying husbands hand. As the doctor talked options and time it just made it more real. He had 3 to 6 months if he was lucky. They could start him on chemo, but at this point it was too far gone and would only make him sicker. The ride home was quiet, neither wanting to give into the realization that he was dying. Once they got home, Tony lied down on the couch trying to get some relief from the cancer that was eating on him. Kate couldn't stand to just sit at home and watch him die.

"I'm going to the grocery store, do you need anything?" Kate asked.

"Maybe just some ginger ale." Tony answered.

Kate nodded and went out to the car. She shut the door and she couldn't take it anymore. She let the tears fall down her cheeks. It wasn't fair. They had been trying to get pregnant, since they both wanted little DiNozzo's. Now she felt like her whole life was over. How were they going to tell the team? What would happen to her after his death? So many questions were left unanswered. She felt guilty. 'If only I would have forced him to go to the doctor earlier than maybe this wouldn't be happening.' She thought. With their lives being in danger everyday, Kate always figured it would be a bullet that would take Tony down, not damn cancer. He was going to try and fight it. He was scheduled to start chemo in a few days. But Kate knew in her heart it was pointless to even try. All she knew was she had to love him, while she still had him.


	2. Chapter 2

Kate couldn't bring herself to even put the car in gear. Grocery shopping would have to wait. The only thing she wanted was to be in the arms of the man she loved. She went running back inside and found Tony lying on the couch.

"You're back already?" Tony asked.

"I couldn't leave you." Kate said.

She couldn't hold her emotions back any longer. She fell to her knees beside the couch and buried her head in Tony's chest.

"Shhh it's alright, everything is alright. You don't have to worry." Tony said.

Kate looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"How am I not supposed to worry? I am losing the love of my life! Once you're gone I am all alone. And then what? I can't go back to work. I cannot endure the pain of going to work and seeing someone else occupy your desk when you are the one who is supposed to be sitting there." Kate cried.

"I tell you what. Let's lay down and let me show you how I really feel about you." Tony said.

He was so weak but he wanted with everything in him to make love to his wife. If he was going to be terminal and die of cancer, he wanted her to remember just how much she meant to him and how much he loved her.

They held each other after they made love. Tony was too weak to get back out of bed. Kate ordered his favorite pizza and they ate it in bed while watching his favorite James Bond movie.

The next morning took a toll on Tony. It broke Kate heart as she got ready for work. Tony seemed weak and pale. However, he still insisted on getting up and going to work. He said he had a headache which Kate knew was from the cancer already spreading to his brain.

"Sweetheart you are sick. You need to stay home. Gibbs will understand." Kate said trying to get Tony to lay back down.

"Gibbs doesn't need to know what's going on. No one does. This is our secret. When I die they will not think much of it. They will move on just as you will." Tony said trying to be the strong one.

"Tony I will always love you and I can't just move on. Neither will the team. You are the glue that holds both our family and our work family together. They need to know." Kate said.

"When the time is right, we will tell them." Tony insisted.

He then put on his suit and tie and they were out the door.

Once they got to work Tony's headache got worse. Kate could tell he was turning very pale. She just wished he would have listened to her this morning.

"We got a dead petty officer near the Potomac. Let's roll" Gibbs said.

Kate, McGee and Tony grabbed their go bags and headed to the elevator. Tony felt very lightheaded and everything started spinning. Before he knew it everything went black. Kate turned just as she seen Tony collapse to the floor.

"Tony!" Kate screamed out.

The team turned at the blood curling scream of Kate. They found Tony lying on the floor convulsing violently. His poor body shook and jerked. Kate just wished she could take this away from him.

"What the hell is going on?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know Gibbs." Kate lied as she was at Tony's side.

"McGee what are you doing just sitting there. Call an ambulance." Gibbs spat.

Kate knew what was going on. But for Gibbs this scared the crap out of him. Tony was a young healthy man, why the hell was he having a seizure? Tony started turning blue from the lack of oxygen to his body. Kate feared this would be the day she lost her husband.

The seizure finally started to slow down by time the paramedics showed up. His heart rate was erratic and they didn't take time to answer questions. They ran with Tony to the ambulance with Kate running right beside them. As the climbed in the back another strong seizure overtook Tony's body. Kate couldn't help but cry. She just hoped that he would come back around and be able to stay with her, even if it was just one more day. She held on to Tony's hand as his body jerked. He gasped for air.

"Please Tony, not now. I'm not ready to let go yet." Kate said wiping away tears as the ambulance made its way to the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

On the way to the hospital, Kate sat in the ambulance as she watched her husband's body be taken over by a seizure. Tony started forming at the mouth and his eyes rolled back in his head. With a horrid and last ditch effort, Tony gasped for air. What brought Kate out of her daze was the shriek of alarms and the sound of a flat line on the machines.

"No Tony, you can't go. You can't leave me. Not yet please." Kate begged.

"Ma'am I need you to calm down." a paramedic said trying to calm a hysterical Kate.

"But that's my husband. You have to save him." Kate screamed.

"We are trying ma'am." The paramedic said before turning and trying to work on Tony.

The other paramedic ripped away Tony's suit and dress shirt and was already starting CPR.

"Dispatch we are heading to Bethesda. I have a 45 year old male having seizures. Let the hospital know that he is crashing here in the ambulance. We have already started chest compression and about to apply the AED." The paramedic said into her radio.

The AED did not seem to be working on Tony which only made Kate more upset.

"I can't lose him. We have only been married a few months." Kate cried.

The ambulance raced to the emergency room. Kate seen on the monitor there was a very faint heartbeat that had showed back up. She could only hope that that his pulse would get stronger.

Once the ambulance pulled under the awning by the emergency room doors, another seizure overtook Tony's body. Kate hoped that he would not crashing again. She went running into the ER with the paramedics only to have Gibbs hold her back from running back there with him.

"Please Gibbs, Tony needs me." Kate cried.

"No Kate" Gibbs spun her around "He needs you to be calm."

"He's dying Gibbs and you expect me to stay out here?" Kate cried.

Gibbs took Kate into his arms and she laid her head against his chest. His warm embrace helped to soothe her but it would never be like Tony's. No one could ever compare to Tony.

It was quiet in the waiting room. The team sat and waited for word, any glimmer of hope on Tony. Kate sat there feeling like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was the only one that knew the truth as to why Tony was here. She pulled out her cell phone and dismissed herself into the hallway. As much as she didn't like the man and despised the way he treated Tony while he was growing up, Kate called Senior.

"Hello dear how is my favorite daughter-in-law." Senior answered the phone.

Just to hear his voice made her break down in tears.

"Kate what's wrong?" Senior questioned.

"It's Tony. He's dying." Kate tried to explain.

"What?" Kate could hear the shock in Seniors voice. "Was Junior shot? Is he at Bethesda?"

"Yes he's at Bethesda. But no he wasn't shot. It would have been more merciful if he had of been. Just please hurry and get here. I will explain everything then." Kate cried.

"Alright sweetheart I will be there soon." Senior said.

He couldn't believe it. His son was dying? For Kate to say it would have been more merciful for him to of been shot, what did Junior get himself into.

'Oh gosh please don't let it be the plague again' Senior thought.

"Mr. DiNozzo are you with us?" Nurse Shelby asked.

Tony still real drowsy opened his eyes.

"Kate?" he mumbled.

"No I'm your nurse Shelby. You are at Bethesda. You had a seizure. You tried to get a way from us but we brought you back." Nurse Shelby tried to joke with him, however he didn't find it funny.

"Where's Kate ?" Tony slurred.

"I will go find her." Nurse Shelby said.

Tony's nurse reported to Dr. Pitt and told him that Tony was awake. Dr. Pitt sat at his desk shaking his head at looking at Tony's results.

"He is asking for a Kate?" Nurse Shelby questioned.

Dr. Pitt sat down the results.

"Yes that's his wife. I will go get her and the rest of the team. To be honest I dread having to break this news to them." Dr. Pitt said running a hand across his face.

As Dr. Pitt stepped out of his office, Shelby looked over the test results on Tony. She gasped when she found what Dr. Pitt was talking about. Tony was in for the fight of his life.

Senior arrived to the hospital to find the team still sitting, waiting in the emergency room waiting area. His poor daughter-in-law's eyes were swelled from the amount of tears she had shed. She sat bent over with her head in her hands. Abby kept trying to comfort her and tell her Tony was going to be ok, while Gibbs sat with a cup of coffee in one hand, and rubbing Kate's back with the other.

"How is he?" Senior asked breaking the silence.

The team looked up at the older man. Kate jumped from her chair and hugged Senior. She broke down into tears once more.

"What's going on with Junior?" Senior questioned again.

Gibbs motioned for Senior to have a seat.

"We don't know much. The doctor hasn't come out and informed us on his condition yet. He was at work and had a seizure. We don't know what caused it." Gibbs answered.

That news caused Senior to take a seat.

"They lost him on the way over here. I just hope he's not gone forever." Kate cried.

"He's a DiNozzo sweetheart. He won't give up that easily." Senior assured her.

About that time, Dr. Pitt walked into the waiting room.

"DiNozzo family?" Dr. Pitt announced even though he already knew who they were. He had seen the team in here more times then he could count.

"How is he?" Kate questioned.

"What caused his seizure?" Gibbs demanded.

"Is he going to survive?" Senior worried.

"I think it would be best for all of you to follow me. We can discuss what happened and options." Dr. Pitt said trying himself not to cry.


	4. Chapter 4

The team followed Dr. Pitt to a quieter room then the ER waiting room. Dr. Pitt wasn't ready to break the news to them. Chances are Tony hadn't had a chance to tell Gibbs how sick he was given he was at work when his first seizure hit.

"Doc, please tell us what is wrong with Tony." Gibbs demanded.

After a long sigh, Dr. Pitt began telling them what was going on.

"Tony has been having headaches for the past 3 weeks. Before that he thought he was coming down with a cold or flu due to coughing a lot. I have called in a neurologist to manage Tony's seizures. But I hate to tell you guys this. Tony has Stage 4 Lung cancer that has already spread to his brain…Tony's terminal." Dr. Pitt said sorrowfully.

"Isn't there something that you can do?" McGee asked.

"Sadly no. There is no benefit in chemo or radiation. Sadly, Tony doesn't have enough time left to be matched into a clinical trial." Dr. Pitt answered.

"How much time does he have left?" Gibbs asked.

"I would say 3 months max. We ran another CT scan on his brain. I did one 3 weeks ago just for good measure. In the first scan it was nothing compared to what showed up today. Tony has 2 tumors on his brain and they have gotten so big that they are inoperable. The tumors are what's causing his seizures. If he survives to 3 months, he will be very lucky." Dr. Pitt explained.

Kate couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew Tony had the cancer, but didn't know it was so bad. She started bawling. How could their happy marriage come down to this? Gibbs took Kate into his arms as she let out the tears she was trying to keep back.

"What can be done for Junior?" Senior asked.

"The only thing we can do is make him comfortable. I am going to suggest to Tony that he sign a DNR. I don't want to see my friend and patient suffer more than he has to. As it gets worse, if he doesn't sign the DNR, then you all will have to make the decision on when to pull his life support. At least this way he wouldn't be brought back to have to suffer more." Dr. Pitt ran his fingers through his hair.

"How can you even say that? How can you call yourself one of his 'friends'? I love him and I can't just watch him die in front of me when I know there is something I can do to help him. He will not be signing that DNR." Kate screamed.

"Mrs. DiNozzo, that's not your decision to make. It will be Tony's. If he feels that it would be best than he can sign them. If he wants to live out what few days he has left on machines, that is also his choice." Dr. Pitt said trying to calm Kate down. He tried to put a comforting hand on her shoulder on for Kate to pull away and give him a go to hell look.

"Can we go see him?" Jimmy Palmer asked.

"Yes but Tony is a very sick man. He may not be awake. We have him on a lot of pain meds to try and keep him comfortable." Dr. Pitt said.

The team followed Dr. Pitt to Tony's hospital room. Tony laid in the hospital bed unnervingly still. He had an oxygen mask on to help him breath since his lungs were so weak. Gibbs was pissed off that Tony didn't tell him anything was wrong with his health. But the fact that Tony was terminal only broke his heart not only for his team but for Kate.

Kate sat down next to Tony's bed and held his hand as memories came flooding back to her. Her and Tony had decided life was too short after Tony had the plague. They had given into their feelings and started dating. On their 6 month anniversary, Tony proposed to her on her birthday. Tony had taken her out for a romantic dinner and got down on one knee beside their table and with a beautiful DiNozzo smile and a diamond ring. Kate now wished she hadn't of said yes. It may not have been so heartbreaking on her if this was just her work partner laying in the hospital bed dying instead of her husband. On July 5th, they tied the knot with all their work friends surrounding them at their outdoor wedding. Jenny and Gibbs was generous enough to give the newlyweds 2 weeks off to enjoy their honeymoon. They spent 2 weeks in Aruba. They didn't get to see much of Aruba, unless you consider enjoying each other on the beach. Now here it was October and Tony has cancer. Tears escaped Kate's eyes as she thought how Tony wouldn't be here for their first wedding anniversary. They wanted kids but now that was totally out of the question. Once Tony was gone, which apparently wouldn't be long, she would be all alone. She wasn't ready to let go of the love of her life.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony opened his eyes to find Dr. Pitt and Dr. Griffin talking to Kate and Gibbs about something but he couldn't make out what.

"Tony it's good to see you are awake." Dr. Pitt said "I want you to meet my friend Dr. Griffin. He's an oncologist."

"Hi Tony." Dr. Griffin said.

Tony tried to talk but a sudden coughing fit came out instead.

"Tony, Dr. Pitt has told me that you know about your diagnosis. I hate to be the one to tell you this." Dr. Griffin started but had to pause and try to not make his voice crack. This was a young agent that had so much more to give and yet he was dying. "Tony your terminal. With the way your cancer has spread, I would say 3 months max."

Tony was stunned. It felt like just yesterday when he found out he had cancer. Now he was hit with the news that he was going to die?

"What are the options? Let's do some chemo or radiation. There has to be some type of treatment I can take." Tony suggested.

It broke Gibbs and Kate's heart to see Tony not want to accept his fate.

"I'm going to be real with you Tony. The treatment will not slow down the cancer progression. You need to consider quality of life over quantity of life. Even if you tried treatment you might get an extra month but it will be hell. You will be sick the whole time and be miserable for that extra month. Or you can accept the possible 3 months and maybe have more good days in the short amount of time." Dr. Griffin tried to explain.

Tony thought for a moment. It only made sense to him.

"I want the treatment. I want to have more days with my wife. It couldn't be any worse than getting sick with Kate driving." Tony laughed before being thrown into another coughing fit. He was bound and determined he was not giving up without a fight.

"Very well Mr. DiNozzo. We will set up your treatment for this afternoon." Dr. Griffin said.

Once the doctors left the room was quiet. How could Tony choose to make himself sicker when it wasn't going to do any good anyway.

"Why are you going through with this?" Kate asked.

"I want to be with you, want to be there for you." Tony whispered.

"Tony, what are you talking about?" Kate questioned. She took his cold hand and held is in hers.

"I know Katie." Tony managed to get out before another coughing fit interrupted his thought.

Kate looked up at Gibbs hoping he could provide some answers. Gibbs shrugged, there was no telling what Tony was talking about.

Tony finally stopped coughing but he was now exhausted. He laid his head back on his pillow and fell asleep. Kate and Gibbs were both puzzled at what Tony could have meant. Later that day Tony was taken for his pic line to be inserted. Kate thought it would be too much on his weak and fragile body to go ahead but Tony insisted that he have his first chemo treatment that day. While he was away for treatment, Kate thought of what Dr. Pitt had mentioned. He wanted Tony to sign a DNR. It was hard to think if his heart stopped or something happened to him she was just supposed to let him die instead of helping him, giving him cpr. In the ambulance when Tony's heart stopped the paramedics started CPR before trying to shock him back with the AED. It was extremely hard to watch the paramedics pounding on his bare chest, the chest she had laid her head on so many times. The same chest that would comfort her when she was crying or when her and Tony were having conversations about their future plans. Future plans…what future did they have now. From the sound of what the doctors were talking Tony didn't have long. She looked up and a nurse was wheeling Tony back into his room. He looked pale and sickly, more so now than he did when he left the room.

"Here you go Mr. DiNozzo, I hope you get to feeling better." The nurse said handing Tony a blue bag.

'Get to feeling better? What did this nurse know about Tony? Did she think he had the flu or a cold he could get over in a few days' Kate thought as she rolled her eyes at the nurse's statement. Kate wondered what the blue bag that looked like the bags you pick up dog poop with was for. Once Tony started throwing up it became very clear, the little blue bag was a barf bag.

With each time the feeling came to Tony it felt like he was puking his guts out and it was taking all the strength he had to try and bring up whatever his body felt was necessary to get rid of. He was hooked up to IV's to make sure he didn't become dehydrated.

"Can't…do this" Tony managed to get out before another wave of sickness took over his body.

To watch him be so sick was awful for Kate. After about 5 minutes which seemed a lot longer Tony was finally quiet and not gagging. She decided now was as good of a time to ask him as any. She moved closer to his bed rubbed his scruffy face with the back of her hand.

"Tony, I have a question for you." Kate whispered.

"What's…that?" Tony struggled to get the words out.

"I know you're a very sick man. If for some reason you got worse and there was the decision of letting you go or putting you on a machine, which would you choose?" Kate asked.

"Let...go" Tony answered before his eyes got so heavy he could barely keep them open.

"You rest, we can talk later." Kate patted his shoulder before leaning over the bed rails and placing a kiss on his forehead.

A nurse walked in and checked the monitors.

"They gave him some pain medicine before coming back to the room. Sleep is possibly the best thing for him right now." The nurse told Kate.

As the nurse turned to walk out Kate caught her.

"If you see Dr. Pitt, have him come down here please. I think we have made a decision in Tony's care." Kate said trying to hold back the tears.

She didn't want to make the decision, but it was Tony's wishes.


	6. Chapter 6

"I've talked with Tony. If there is nothing more you can do we want to sign a DNR. I for one am not happy about this, but it is Tony's wishes." Kate sighed.

"You're doing the right thing. It's better to not let him suffer." Dr. Pitt mentioned.

After that first round of chemo, Tony's body was so weak he could not continue. Against what he really wanted, he decided to discontinue treatment.

"Agent DiNozzo, this is Alana Barron she is with hospice." Dr. Pitt introduced.

"Hello Agent DiNozzo, Mrs. DiNozzo. I wanted to talk to you about some options you have and what we can set you up with. You will have a team of people once you go home including a nurse and home health aides that will come in and work with you, that will give you a bit of a break Mrs. DiNozzo." Alana explained.

"So tell me…how does this work? I get it, I'm dying, but how are you and this hospice thing supposed to make me feel better about the whole process of leaving my wife?" Tony questioned.

"Well we will manage your pain and symptoms, we will assist you with the emotional, psycho-social and spiritual aspects of dying, we will provide you with needed drugs, medical supplies and equipment, and we will provide bereavement care and counseling to your family and friends." Alana answered.

'It was really happening.' Tony thought. 'The end of Tony DiNozzo. Always wanted to go out in blaze of glory or getting shot in the line of duty trying to save someone. Instead it's damn cancer taking me out.'

"If you have any questions please let me know. Upon your discharge, we will start the hospice care." Alana spoke "You will be in great hands and we will help you through this."

When Jimmy got the word they would be placing Tony into hospice, he nearly broke down. He knew a lot of times hospice was pretty much a death sentence. Hell, no more than Stage 4 Lung cancer was though. Jimmy was there the day Tony was released from the hospital. It was heartbreaking to see the indestructible Tony DiNozzo, a guy so much larger than life, be knocked down and barely able to move. Jimmy loaded Tony up into his van and headed to the DiNozzo house. Hospice was waiting for the DiNozzo's once they got home ready to set different things up. Jimmy helped get Tony in the house and Kate followed closely behind.

"Want to lay down…with Kate." Tony requested.

Against his better judgement, Jimmy helped Tony up the stairs and changed him into some sweats and an Ohio State shirt before allowing Tony to lay down on the bed. He covered his friend up with the sheet and comforter.

"Sleep well Tony. I'll send Kate up in a few minutes." Jimmy carded his fingers through Tony's hair.

Before Jimmy could leave the room, Tony was already asleep. Kate signed for papers to have a hospital bed set up in the den, along with oxygen tanks on standby. It hit her, this was going to be Tony's room for the foreseeable future, or until he died. The thought of Tony dying was almost too much for her. Once everything was signed for, she went upstairs to find her husband sleeping soundly. She kicked off her shoes and crawled in behind him, snuggling up to his back.

"Please don't leave me." She whispered as the tears began to fall.


	7. Chapter 7

With each passing day Tony became weaker and weaker. He began tripping over his own feet, becoming more off balance. Even though Kate told him she would bring him breakfast in bed, he was stubborn and tried to make it to the kitchen on his own. Unfortunately, he lost his footing. He tried to catch himself with the dining room chair but instead he and the chair went down.   
“Oh my gosh, Tony! Are you ok?” Kate said rushing over to her husband who was now laying on the ground.   
“I’m fine just tripped over my big feet.” Tony smirked.   
As bad as she hated to, Kate knew it was time to move Tony downstairs. She couldn’t risk him falling down the stairs.   
“Tony,” Kate’s voice cracked “I think it is best if we move you to your room down here.”   
Tony sighed. He knew Kate was right. He was only getting weaker and weaker. He knew the den would be where he died instead of lying next to the love of his life. But he would rather have it this way then dying in a cold hospital room.   
Tony had only been given three months to live. As the date of the three months came closer, Kate could not keep anything down. She was worried sick. She had been trying to prepare herself for Tony’s passing but the past three months slipped up on her. Gibbs came around with his morning cup of coffee in hand, coming to check on his son.   
“How’s he doing today?” Gibbs asked Kate as she opened the door.   
“He’s weak and has been staying in…” before Kate could finish her sentence she was running off to the bathroom to expel her breakfast.   
A few minutes later she rejoined Gibbs in the living room.   
“Are you sure you’re ok Kate?” he asked her.   
“I’m fine I think it’s just from worrying about Tony.” Kate sighed.   
“How about you come stay at my place for a couple of days. Just in case it’s a stomach bug, we don’t need Tony getting any sicker with his weakened immune system.” Gibbs suggested.   
“I guess your right” Kate sighed. “I just can’t lose him Gibbs.”   
“I know. That’s why I want you to get to feeling better so you can be here…for him.” Gibbs pulled Kate into a hug as she began to cry.   
Kate went upstairs to pack a couple of outfits, while Gibbs walked into the den. He found Tony asleep in his hospital bed.   
“She cares a lot about you Tony. We all do.” Gibbs carded his fingers through Tony’s hair “Please keep fighting.”   
Gibbs attention was snapped away from Tony when McGee and Abby came in.   
“How’s he doing boss?” McGee asked as he made his way into the den.   
“He’s sleeping. He hasn’t been awake since I got here.” Gibbs sighed.   
“Where’s Kate?” Abby questioned.   
“She’s upstairs getting some clothes.”   
“Why is she getting clothes? Gibbs she can’t possibly be leaving Tony in the state he’s in, is she?”  
“No Abbs, she is coming over to my house. She’s been sick and throwing up. I don’t want Tony to catch whatever she has.”   
“Boss, why don’t you take her to see Ducky?” McGee suggested.   
Gibbs face lit up.   
“That’s a wonderful idea Tim.”   
“I can go with you Gibbs, Timmy won’t mind staying here alone with Tony.” Abby squealed.   
“Not at all. Tony and I need to catch up anyway.” McGee smiled.   
“Are we ready…oh hey Abby, McGee.” Kate said coming down the stairs and finding more people than Gibbs in her den.   
“Yes, but first we are going to headquarters.”   
“Gibbs I really don’t feel like going into work. I can just go back upstairs and…”   
“No one said anything about work, I am going to have Ducky look at you.”   
“Is that really necessary?” Kate moved her hands to her hips.   
“Think of it like this Kate,” Abby tried to explain “You are doing it, for Tony. You have to get better so you can be here to support him.”   
“Your right.” Kate grabbed her bag and made her way out the door with Abby and Gibbs right behind her.   
McGee sat down beside Tony’s bed and sat forward with his arms on his knees. He watched as his friend slept. Watching each rise and fall of his chest and how much of a comfort knowing that Tony was still with them, even if it wasn’t for much longer.   
“It’s not the same without you at work. It’s too quiet. Gibbs isn’t himself either. It’s hard to see your desk so empty. I wish you could get better and get back to the team.” McGee cried.   
What will Ducky find when he examines Kate? And how long will she have to be away from Tony? New chapter up soon! Please review!!


	8. Chapter 8

Kate sat on the cold table waiting for Ducky to check her over. She was sure it was just from worrying over when Tony was going to give up, when his last breath would be, when she would truly be alone. She didn’t have time to be sick. She had to be there by his side.  
“Mr. Palmer, will you please take these down to Abby.” Ducky said as he handed him two vials of Kate’s blood.  
As Ducky took the band off of Kate’s arm he handed her a small cup.  
“What is this for Duck?” Kate asked.  
“I want to run a pregnancy test on you.” Ducky grinned.  
“Seriously Ducky? Tony is in bed dying and you think I’m pregnant.” Kate laughed.  
“Humor me.” Ducky smirked.  
Kate snatched the cup from his hand and went to fill it up. On her way back to autopsy the thought hit her, what kind of sick cruel joke it would be if she was pregnant. Here she was losing Tony and yet the one thing they always wanted together only she could enjoy. She laughed at herself for even thinking she was pregnant. Tony had been too sick to do much of anything little on make love to her. When she got back to Ducky, Abby was standing there with a pregnancy test and a huge grin on her face.  
“Abby what are you doing?” Kate questioned.  
“I just want to see if my suspicion is right.” Abby smiled as she took the cup from Kate.  
“My dear Caitlin could you please lay down on the table so I can check you over. Gibbs was telling me some of your symptoms but I want to hear them from you.” Ducky smirked.  
“Well I’ve been real tired, been throwing up but come on Ducky it’s just from taking care of Tony and worrying.” Kate tried to explain. She was cut off when a squeal escaped Abby’s lips.  
“Jimmy look at this!” Abby exclaimed.  
Jimmy looked over at Kate and smiled.  
“Ok are you two just going to look at me with dopey grins or are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Kate spat.  
Abby approached Kate before thrusting the pregnancy test at her.  
“We’re going to have a little DiNozzo!!!” Abby screamed,  
“What? There’s no way!” Kate looked at the positive test. They had been trying for three months and nothing happened. Surly, wait it couldn’t be…the day they found out Tony’s diagnosis!  
“My dear would you like to hear your baby’s heart beat?” Ducky asked with loving eyes.  
“Sure, why not.” Kate shrugged and laid back on the table.  
She was still in a bit of disbelief. It wasn’t until Ducky ran the doppler across her bare stomach that something inside her changed. The sound of a heartbeat on the fetal monitor made everything real. She was going to be having a baby…Tony’s baby! She began to cry as she made the realization, Tony wouldn’t live long enough to see their baby born.  
“What’ve we got Duck?” Gibbs asked as he strode into autopsy.  
“Well Jethro it looks as though we will be having a new team member. Our dear Caitlin is pregnant!” Ducky grinned.  
“A little DiNozzo…come on Kate let’s get you home so you can share the good news with Tony.” Gibbs smiled.  
As Gibbs drove Kate back to her and Tony’s house she cried. She placed her hand on her stomach. All she could think about was the heartbeat she had heard, the tiny thing herself and Tony had created. She hoped that the news would bring a bit of a smile to Tony in his last days. The day they had always dreamed about was tearing Kate apart. Tony always wanted a baby that he could spoil, play catch with heck if it was a girl have tea parties with. But now he wasn’t going to get the chance to be a dad. She walked into the den and found Tony waking up, McGee still by his side.  
“How’s he doing?” Kate asked.  
“He has been asleep the whole time. How are you doing? You are feeling any better?” McGee questioned.  
“Yeah Tim, I’m going to be fine.” Kate sadly smiled.  
She went around to the other side of the bed and sat down on it next to Tony. She took his hand and pressed it against her lips.  
“Hey…Kate” Tony smiled.  
“Hey…good to see you awake. I needed to tell you something.” Kate said as she carded her petite fingers through his hair. “We are going to have a baby.”  
“What?” Tony asked as he tried to scoot up in bed.  
Kate began to cry. She looked into Tony’s loving green eyes.  
“We are finally getting our little DiNozzo.” Kate cried.  
“Oh Katie” Tony said as he pulled her close to him. “I am so excited! Aren’t you excited?”  
“Yes and no. I never thought I would have to raise our baby alone.” Kate cried.  
Tony wiped the tears from her eyes.  
“You won’t be doing this alone. We are here for you.” McGee spoke up. Kate and Tony both looked in his direction, halfway forgetting he was still in the room.  
“I would appreciate you and the team looking after my girl and my little one. Plus Kate, it means you will always have a piece of me even after I’m gone.” Tony smiled. He placed his hand on Kate stomach and rubbed what for now was a flat stomach. He didn’t want Kate to know his pain but he was going to fight extremely hard to see that little one born. The hell with only living three months, he was determined to make it as long as he possibility could for Kate and for his baby.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter...next one will be longer, I promise!

Tony kept beating the odds. He was past his 3 month death notice. He was still very weak but he wanted to keep fighting for Kate and for his unborn child. With some help from McGee, Tony was able to get in a wheelchair and go with Kate to her first doctor’s appointment to check on their baby.  
“Mrs. DiNozzo?” the nurse asked as Kate stood up to go back.   
“Would you like for me to push him back there? I can leave after I get him back there.” McGee offered.   
“That’s alright Tim, I got him.” Kate softly smiled as she patted Tony on the shoulder.   
The walk back to the exam room thoughts ran through Kate’s mind of how this is not how she pictured her first appointment with an OB/GYN. Tony was supposed to walk by her side, holding her hand and making comments about the different pictures on the walls of pregnant women and of the babies. Or at the very least making inappropriate remarks of different posters posted in the exam room leading to her elbowing him in the ribs. Instead Tony sat in a wheelchair, unusually quiet, weak and pale.   
The nurse took her vitals and then told her the doctor would be in shortly. A small weak voice caught Kate off guard.   
“I can’t believe we are going to be parents!” Tony weakly said.   
Kate couldn’t help letting her tears escape when she looked over at Tony and realized he was crying. They wanted a baby more than anything, but why did the universe have to wait until Tony was dying to grant them their wish.   
“Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo, I’m Doctor Ethan Fox and this is my nurse Myra Brady.” Dr. Fox spoke. The doctor looked to be in his mid 30’s and reminded Kate of the man Tony was before he got sick. Tall, handsome and lean.   
“I’m Kate and this is my husband Tony.” Kate tried to hide the tears and the emotion in her voice.   
“Nice to meet you both. Now Dr. Mallard told me of your situation and I am very sorry. But know we are going to take very good care of you and your baby. Now we don’t do the ultrasounds until your about 4 months. So, we still have a little while yet. However, would you guys like to hear your baby’s heartbeat?” Dr. Fox asked.   
“Please!” Tony said with pleading eyes.   
Nurse Myra grabbed the doppler and prepared Kate’s stomach. As Dr. Fox ran the doppler over Kate’s stomach a strong heartbeat filled the room. Tony couldn’t hold back. He took Kate’s hand in his and cried. He was hearing the heartbeat of the child he had always desperately wanted. Life was being so unfair.   
“You’re going to make a great mom Kate.” Tony whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

Kate and Tony had been spending most of their days talking about the little one that Kate was carrying. They talked baby names, what color to do the nursery, pretty much anything to get their minds off the fact Tony would never meet their child. Tony always wanted a little boy to play football or a game of basketball with but the more he thought, the more he was wishing for a little girl that looked just like Kate. Kate on the other hand wished for a boy that looked like his daddy, or pretty much a miniature Tony with his looks and personality. That way even though Tony was gone, he would have a tiny piece of him still with her.   
Kate had been laying in the oversized hospital bed with Tony. It was around noon and she knew they both needed to eat.   
“I’m going to fix us some lunch. Would you like me to bring it to you?” Kate asked.  
“No, I will come into the kitchen. I want to have lunch with my wife.” Tony smiled.   
Kate was happily chatting away with Tony as she made lunch.   
“I am almost thinking we could do the nursery in grey and yellow.” Kate said.   
Tony had gotten his walker and started towards the kitchen.   
“Ah gender neutral cover both bases.” Tony smiled.  
“Yeah I guess so I just want to get the nursery down before…” Kate paused not wanting to say anything further about the fact that Tony was dying. “So, I don’t have to worry about it not being done before the baby is born. Of course, Abby is wanting to add hippos to the room.” She laughed.   
Some in her stomach turned and she felt as though something was wrong. She turned around to look for Tony.   
“Tony?” She asked.   
Kate went out of the kitchen and into the dining room to find Tony convulsing on the floor.   
“Oh my God! Tony!!” Kate screamed.   
Tony had hit his head on one of the dining room chairs and a bump was starting to form. Kate dropped to his side and watched the time along with his breathing to make sure he would come out of the seizure.   
“Damn brain tumors.” Kate mumbled under her breath.  
What felt like forever watching Tony gasp for air as his body jerked was only about 2 minutes. Finally, his body calmed and he started breathing normally again.   
“Tony? Can you hear me?” Kate asked as she rubbed his arm.   
As she called his name over and over Kate was finally able to get Tony to respond to her.   
“Headache…” Tony said, barely able to keep his eyes open. He looked exhausted.   
“I know sweetheart. I am going to call Gibbs real quick and we will get you back in bed. I will bring your lunch to you.” Kate smiled at him.   
“Yeah, Gibbs.” Gibbs answered his phone before seeing it was Kate.   
“Gibbs we have a bit of a problem. Tony has fallen and had a seizure. I think he’s ok but I can’t get him up out of the floor by myself.” Kate said, as reality of the situation set in.  
“I will be there in just a bit.” Gibbs said closing his phone.   
Gibbs was standing in the middle of autopsy at the time he got the phone call. Normally he would take McGee with him, but under the circumstances, he needed someone with some medical experience.   
“Hey Duck, do you mind if I borrow Palmer for a while?” Gibbs asked.   
“Whatever for Jethro?” Ducky asked.   
“It’s Tony. He fell and had a seizure. Kate can’t get him up by herself, which I don’t even want her trying while carrying a little DiNozzo.” Gibbs explained.   
“Of course. Mr. Palmer, I want a full report on how our dear Anthony is when you come back.” Ducky demanded.   
“Yes doctor.” Jimmy answered before going and changing out of his scrubs.   
On the way over to the DiNozzo’s house, Gibbs did something he normally would have never done. He tried to create small talk.   
“Palmer I don’t think I have ever seen you in jeans and a polo before.” Gibbs said trying to lighten the mood.   
“Oh…it’s…I normally come in in stuff like this but have my scrubs and suits in the back in case I need them.” Jimmy smiled.   
Silence fell in the car before the elephant in the room had to be addressed.   
“What is the likelihood that this seizure was caused by his brain tumors?” Gibbs asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.   
“More than likely it was. If they are anything like they were on the scans a few weeks back, they are probably larger now than they were then. Putting more pressure on Tony’s brain. I am honestly shocked that Tony has lasted this long.” Jimmy said looking down at his hands.   
“He’s surprised us all Palmer.” Gibbs sadly smiled.   
When they arrived Kate ushered them into the dining room.   
“How’s he feeling?” Jimmy asked.   
“Tired and has a headache. He hit his head on the chair.” Kate explained.   
“And the seizure lasted how long?” Jimmy asked as he checked Tony over.   
“2 minutes.” Kate answered.   
“Well thankfully he doesn’t have a concussion. But he does have a pretty good bump on his head.” Jimmy explained. “Gibbs let’s get him on the couch for now. Kate, call hospice and let them know what’s going on.”   
Jimmy and Gibbs together were able to get Tony moved over onto the couch, though his body was like dead weight. He woke up long enough to try and move his feet and help them, but as soon as he was laid down on the couch, he was out.   
Kate dreaded calling and telling hospice what had happened. She was still holding out hope that Tony would get better. Within 15 minutes, a hospice nurse was out to talk to Kate.   
“Hi Kate, I’m Camila Burns the hospice nurse. I talked to Tony’s doctor and Doctor Palmer has also filled me in on some other details on Tony’s condition. We think it is best to have him stay in bed without trying to get up. We are going to start 24 hour hospice care and start him on some medicine to keep him out of pain.” Camila said.   
“So are you saying that this is it? That Tony could die within the next 24 hours?” Kate asked as she could feel her emotions going out of control.   
“Not so much that Kate” Jimmy spoke up “It’s more he’s getting weaker and his body isn’t sure how to process all the pain from the cancer. We just want to make him as comfortable as possible.”   
Kate nodded her head. “Ok…so when does the first nurse start their death watch?”   
“Not a death watch. But I will be here for the next 12 hours if you or Tony need anything.” Camila explained.   
With that Jimmy and Gibbs carried Tony back to bed and helped him get comfortable.   
“Will you excuse me for a minute.” Kate said as she ran out the front door.   
She screamed to the top of her lungs. Why was this happening? Sure he was weak but he seemed to be getting better. He had made it past the death sentence mark. Now it was just a waiting game. Waiting for Tony to die.


	11. Chapter 11

It was the day that Tony and Kate were looking forward to. The day they found out the gender of their baby. Sadly, instead of Tony sitting beside her when the gender was announced, it would be Abby. Abby insisted on going so she could start planning a baby shower…under the condition it wouldn’t be a goth baby shower. Kate thoughtfully rubbed her belly as they waited for the doctor to come in.

“What are you hoping for Kate?” Abby asked.

“A healthy baby. Tony wants a baby boy. Could you imagine a miniature Tony running around?” The thought of that made both girls chuckle.

Sadness soon fell in the small room with they both realized that this baby would never get to meet Tony.

“How is he doing?” Abby asked with tears in her eyes.

“He was still asleep when I left. It seems like he is sleeping more than ever now. I know a lot of it is the medication they have him on to keep him out of pain. I just wish I could take this from him.” Kate said as she wiped her own tears away. “This isn’t how we planned it at all.”

The doctor walked in with a sad smile on his face.

“Hello Kate, are we ready to meet this little one today?” Dr. Fox asked.

“I think so.” Kate sadly smiled.

“Now I see your husband isn’t here.” Dr. Fox said and Kate shook her head trying not to cry.

“Well we want him to be a part of this experience too. I will make a copy of the scan and put it on a dvd so that you husband can see it as well.” Dr. Fox smiled.

“That would be wonderful.” Kate smiled.

The doctor squirted on the gel and moved the doppler around. The baby’s strong heartbeat could be heard throughout the room.

Abby held Kate’s hand as the image popped up on the screen.

“Well it looks like you are about 4 months now Kate. Baby DiNozzo say hi to your mommy.” Dr. Fox said as he moved the doppler to another spot to find a better angle of the baby.

“Here’s the spine, and you can see the heart beating. It looks like Baby DiNozzo is a…” Dr. Fox said.

As he told Kate she covered her mouth and began to cry. Abby stood up and held her as they cried together.

“Congratulations Kate. I will get the DVD to you in just a moment.” Dr. Fox said as he wiped the gel off of Kate’s bump.

Kate took the DVD and held on to it. She couldn’t wait to get home to show Tony.

Abby had called ahead and told McGee to set up everything they would need down in Tony’s room. Tony was just starting to stir when Kate came home.

“Hey there sleepy head.” Kate said as she kissed Tony.

“Hey yourself.” Tony yawned.

“I got a new movie for you, one you haven’t seen before. Do you mind if we watch it together?” Kate asked.

Tony weakly smiled.

“You have always gotten on to me about my movie collection and movie knowledge, now you want to watch a movie with me?” Tony chuckled.

“It’s a very special one.” Kate smiled.

“Alright then.” Tony smiled back.

McGee helped him to sit up in bed a little bit.

“Thanks, Probie.” Tony smiled. 

Abby and McGee stood just outside the door wanting to see Tony’s reaction, but also wanted to give the couple their space. Kate put in the DVD before climbing in the oversized hospital bed with Tony.

“There is the baby’s spine. Little one has all ten fingers and toes.” Kate stopped and looked at Tony before she went on. “Our baby boy is perfectly healthy.

Tony looked at her with surprise before looking back at the ultrasound.

“Our baby boy? We’re having a boy?” Tony asked excited.

Kate smiled and nodded. “It’s a boy!”

Tears welled up in Tony’s eyes as he placed his hand gently onto Kate’s bump.

“Daddy’s little man. He will have to help take care of his mama.” Tony said as he weakly drew Kate into him.

She laid her head on his chest as they both laid and cried over the little man that would soon be coming into the world, and for his daddy that he would never get to meet. It was what Tony always wanted, he was going to fight hard to be able to meet his little man.

Abby leaned into McGee and cried. They had so much work to do planning a baby shower. With as weak as Tony had become, they weren’t sure how much longer he could hold on. It wasn’t every day that was a gift but more ever hour, every minute they still had Tony that was truly a gift.


	12. Chapter 12

Abby had started planning a baby shower for Baby Boy DiNozzo the moment she found out what Kate and Tony was having. She pulled everything together quickly so Tony could be a part of it. He had started having more bad days then good. He was in a lot of pain and the doctor had upped his pain medication.

Tony was too weak to walk and couldn’t get in a wheelchair without help. His muscles were wasting away and he didn’t have the strength to walk anymore. Tim had gone in and with the help of Jimmy, picked Tony up and put him into his wheelchair the day of the baby shower. Tony looked frail, like a shell of the man he once was. Tim pushed him out into the living room so Tony could be a part of the festivities.

“First off I would like to congratulate the mom and dad to be Kate and Tony!” Abby said as everyone clapped for them.

Tony sat next to Kate in his wheelchair and held her hand. Her other hand was propped on her growing baby bump.

Kate looked around the room and felt grateful for the people that had showed up to celebrate their special day with them. Everyone from Gibbs, Ducky, Jimmy and his wife Breena, Tim, Abby and even Kate’s sister Rachel.

“My dear Caitlin, what will you and our Anthony be expecting?” Ducky asked.

Kate looked at Tony with tears in her eyes.

“It’s a boy Ducky.” Tony sadly smiled.

The oohs and awes from the room were heartfelt. The team knew how much Tony wanted a son.

After having cake and playing a few games such as How Big is Mommy’s Belly and What Will Baby DiNozzo’s name be, it was time to open gifts. Kate opened Abby’s gift first. Inside the oversized bag was a stuffed hippo, just like Bert.

“I like to think of it as Bert’s cousin. Only instead of a dog collar, I put a bandana on it. Try it out it even farts like Bert!” Abby exclaimed.

Kate gave it a squeeze eliciting the farting noise. It gave Kate a good chuckle. What was strange to her was Tony wasn’t laughing.

“Tony would you like to give it a squeeze?” Kate asked her husband.

When she turned to hand him the hippo she found he was fast to sleep.

‘Only you would fall asleep during our baby shower!’ Kate thought.

“Thank you, Abby.” Kate said as she sadly put the hippo back in the sack. Kate was a little irritated that Tony fell asleep but she understood. It was hard on her to have something that should be a happy occasion marred because Tony couldn’t enjoy it the way he should.

“I am going to put him to bed.” Gibbs quietly told Kate as he wheeled Tony back into his room and put him to bed.

Just being transferred into the bed caused Tony some pain. It broke Gibbs heart to see his son in this condition. Gibbs pulled the covers up around Tony and kissed his forehead.

“Get some rest.” Gibbs whispered.

Unwillingly, Kate put on a fake smile and continued to open the gifts. One of the biggest gifts was the team had been working on the nursery. Kate had picked out the colors, gray and teal, but the team wanted it to be a surprise for the day of the baby shower.

As they walked up the stairs to the nursery, Kate sighed “Tony should be able to come up here and see our baby’s nursery.”

“I am glad you said that, because I will be taking pictures and then planned to show them to him if he feels up to it.” McGee smiled.

Kate smiled thankful for the team that had become their family. She opened the door to a beautiful nursery complete with a crib and bedding, a rocking chair, changing table with a big teal D over it. The walls were painted a teal and gray.

“I love it!” Kate cried. “My little man is going to love it too!” she said as she rubbed her belly.

She went through and looked at everything.

“I can’t thank you guys enough for this!” Kate said as she gave them a group hug.

“Let’s go see if Tony is up to looking at the pictures!” Jimmy smiled.

Kate was the first one to walk in. She noticed Tony had just started coming to a little.

“Hey sleepyhead. How are you feeling?” Kate asked her husband as she sat down beside him on the bed.

“Tired.” Tony said weakly.

“I have a surprise for you! Would you like to see the baby’s nursery?” Kate asked.

Tony nodded his head. McGee moved beside them and started showing Tony the pictures.

“Good color choice Probie!” Tony weakly smiled.

“Actually, Kate picked out the colors. It was just myself and the team that put it together.” McGee grinned.

“Thank you for doing this for us.” Tony said. He wished he could have had more of a hand in helping with the experience. Everything he had always dreamed of.

As the team went to leave, Tony had a thought.

“Probie, I need a favor.”


	13. Chapter 13

The task Tony had set for his probie wasn’t hard. But emotionally McGee was having a hard time with it. McGee did as he was told without saying a word to anyone. He knew Tony’s time was running out and he wanted to make good on a promise to Tony, to do whatever it takes to make sure Kate and the baby were taken care of. McGee slipped into the house with the gear he would need for today, hoping that Tony felt up to completing his plan. Abby was upstairs with Kate making sure she was getting her rest. The house was eerily quiet as McGee walked into the den. He had to take a second look to make sure Tony was still breathing.

“Tony, I’m here buddy.” McGee said as he touched Tony’s arm.

Tim was met with sleepy emerald eyes.

“Hey Probie.” Tony weakly smiled.

“Are you sure you feel up to this?” McGee asked.

“Yes…it's something I need to do.” Tony said.

McGee handed Tony the paperwork. As Tony was signing the papers, McGee was setting up a camera in front of Tony’s bed.

“Here ya go Probtastic!” Tony smiled.

“Are you ready?” McGee asked.

“Never felt better!” Tony lied.

Tim was careful as he helped sit Tony up in the bed a little bit more and placed a pillow behind his back. The truth of the matter was Tony was too weak to really sit up on his own. Tony gently took off his oxygen.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” McGee asked.

“I don’t want everyone to remember me as being sick…I want them to remember me how I was... the fun loving guy who loved life and lived it to the best of his ability.” Tony flashed a megawatt smile McGee's way before it faltered slightly. "The only regret I have is leaving Kate alone to raise our son."

McGee smiled back and started the recording.

“Take your time. If you need a break just let me know.”

Tony nodded before he began speaking into the camera.

“Son…I’m your dad. I am sorry that I am not around to see you grow up. But know that I am very proud of you. You’re a DiNozzo! Take pride in it! Since I won’t be there during your growing up years I wanted to share with you some advice that I think will help you out. When you get your first girlfriend, treat her like a queen and with the utmost respect, your mother was always my queen. Don’t go opening letters that aren’t addressed to you. Trust me, I found out that out the hard way and ended up getting the pneumonic plague. Live everyday like it’s your last…because you never know when it will be. Trust me I never expected it to end like this... not this soon... not before I got to meet you and especially not before I got to grow old with your mom. If your grandpa Gibbs slaps the back of your head, its only because he loves you.” Tony paused and rubbed the back of his head “He has given me enough love taps over the years, that’s for sure.”

Tony paused to catch his breath with the oxygen while McGee was sitting back making sure Tony was ok, along with trying hard not to cry.

“You might not have a family like most people…but the family you do have is one of the best. They will always love and protect you, no matter what. Oh, by the way, don’t let McGee beat you at any video game!” Tony started.

“Hey that’s not fair!” McGee piped up.

“Ok so McGee can teach you a lot about computers and video games you’re playing. Ducky…you’re going to love him. His stories might get annoying at times, but you can learn a lot from him. Abby is one of the sweetest, most loving goths you will ever meet. She and your mom will be able to guide you regarding what ladies really like. Palmer…who I always called Autopsy Gremlin…is a little shy at first but is a really great guy! He's a really great listener if you ever need to talk.”

“That leaves me with the one person you will be the closest to…your mother. Be good to her. You're all she has left. Don’t be surprised if she is really clingy on your first day of school or college. You’re her baby and I am sure you will either look exactly like or be like me as far as personality. Who knows? Maybe you'll get my looks and my sense of humor. So, it’s ok to annoy her just a little bit. I always did. Just remember your mom is always right. It took me a long time to learn that.”

“When you are older…be sure to hide any naughty books you might have. Your mom can detect what you are up to really quickly, especially if you are up to no good. Be sure to go to Ohio State and be like your old man. I played football and basketball there…and ended up getting my leg broken in a huge football game against our rival Michigan by a guy named Brad Pitt…not the actor. Later on, he saved my life after I got the plague. Finally, I want you to know that I always loved you and I’m very proud of you son.” With that Tony collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted but grateful that he got to make a video for his son. McGee helped put the oxygen back on Tony and let him rest. He knew he could edit the videos, he just couldn’t replace Tony after he was gone.

Tony got the strength to make one more video. One that would be special and hold a dear place in even McGee’s heart.

Tony was asleep when Kate came home from grocery shopping with Abby. They had slipped out earlier in the day, not knowing what McGee and Tony were up to. Kate quietly went in to check on Tony. His face was so pale, his features slack as he slept deeply, not hearing her move around the room. She placed a loving hand on her stomach as she felt their baby boy move around. She couldn’t help but let the tears fall as she thought of how their baby would never meet his father. A strong hand wrapped around her shoulders. She turned to find Gibbs standing beside her.

She buried her face in his chest, beginning to sob quietly.

“Shhh it’s ok Kate. Tony’s a DiNozzo…he’s a fighter.” Gibbs said before placing his hands on Kate’s baby bump “And this little guy will be the same way... for sure he'll take after Tony when it comes to never giving up without a fight."

Kate wiped her eyes and nodded “I know.”

The next day was the hardest for Kate. The hospice doctor came out to check on Tony only to confirm that his body was actively shutting down. The doctor orders medications to keep Tony comfortable, including anxiety medication, medication to decrease secretions so he didn’t choke, along with refilling his supplemental oxygen to keep him comfortable. Morphine drops to go under his tongue for pain were prescribed as well as liquid Tylenol for discomfort or fever. It was hard to watch Tony as his body slowly shut down... as this man who was once so full of life faded away from his family and friends. He was constantly cold but was running a fever due to his brain not being able to regulate his body temperature efficiently. 

“I am sorry Mrs. DiNozzo. I would say if he has a couple of days left with us, he will be lucky. His body is shutting down. We will do all we can to keep him comfortable until he passes.” The doctor explained before giving instructions to the hospice nurse.

Kate couldn’t help but cry. She texted McGee and told him to round up everyone to come over before she went in and lay down with Tony. The love of her life was slowly fading away.


	14. Chapter 14

The team gathered in the DiNozzo living room waiting on an update on Tony. Things had gone south quickly. McGee had called the team after receiving Kate's text. Before everyone could make it to the DiNozzo house, Tony took a turn for the worse. Ducky took it upon himself to make tea and coffee for the team.

"This can't be the end. Not yet. Tony needs to live to see his son born." Abby cried.

"Abigail, we knew this day was coming and our dear Anthony hung on a lot longer than any of us expected him to." Ducky tried to soothe her.

Abby tried to wipe her tears, only to leave black streaks on her face.

"I know, but it's still not fair." Abby whispered.

McGee put his arm around Abby to help soothe her.

Gibbs was like a caged cougar. He wanted in there with his boy. If he could order Tony not to die, Tony would obey. He would never disobey a direct order. Gibbs would do one better; order Tony to hang on until the baby was born. He knew though that Tony was so weak and it was an impossible order. But Gibbs could dream.

"Dr. Mallard, can I borrow you for a moment?" The hospice doctor called from the den.

"Excuse me for a moment." Ducky excused himself from the team.

Gibbs finally took a break from his pacing to take the last gulp of what was now cold coffee. The room was quiet except for a few sniffles. It had all happened so fast. Gibbs looked up to see Palmer sitting in a recliner, Tony's recliner, trying hard to keep up a brave face

"Has Kate called Senior?" McGee questioned.

"I highly doubt it." Gibbs shook his head.

"I'll go make the phone call. He may not have been there for Tony growing up but the least he can do is be there for Tony as he's dying as well as support his daughter in law as she loses her husband." McGee said.

As McGee walked out of the room, Gibbs took his place on the couch beside Abby. He wrapped his arms around the girl who had become like a daughter to him. He wasn't ready nor prepared to lose another child.

Ducky walked into the living room with a grim look on his face.

"It seems to be a lot worse than we thought. Young Anthony has suffered a stroke." Ducky informed.

The information made Abby gasp and whisper "No."

"A stroke Duck?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm afraid so Jethro. It hit his right side. His face is drooping on that side and he really can't talk. We aren't talking days anymore. Maybe hours or minutes. He won't make it to see tomorrow." Ducky sadly said.

McGee walked back in the room and started talking before he saw Ducky.

"Senior is away on business. Said he would catch the next flight to D.C." McGee said.

"Depending on where he is flying from, he may not make it in time." Ducky ducked his head.

"Is he that bad?" McGee asked.

"Tony had a stroke." Gibbs whispered.

"Oh my God!" McGee gasped.

"Kate is requesting that we come in and sit with her and Tony, say our final goodbyes." Ducky wiped the tears from his eyes.

He had been around death for many years, but to see someone so young, and a friend die like this was heartbreaking.

The team gathered around Tony, who at the moment was asleep.

"The doctor told me that the hearing is the last thing to go. So please feel free to talk to him." Kate cried. She was sitting up on the bed with Tony.

The team one by one started saying their goodbyes. Each one unique and personal. The team tried to allow each other the privacy they wanted with Tony.

Abby held Tony's ice-cold hand as she spoke.

"I'm really going to miss you Tony. But don't worry. I will be the best aunt your baby boy has ever seen. His nursery will be complete with a mini Bert. I always knew how much you loved Bert, I figure your son will too. We love you." Abby wiped her tears before bursting into fresh ones in the arms of Gibbs.

McGee was the next one to go.

"I guess with Abby being little man's aunt, I guess that makes me his uncle." McGee softly laughed. "Even though you picked on me all the time, I'm really going to miss you. I will be sure to recommend good movies to him as he gets older."

McGee could have sworn he saw a half grin grace Tony's face. If McGee could guess, Tony was probably judging Tim's taste in movies and finding that funny.

"I too will be there for the little guy if ever he needs it. You've been a great friend Tony." Jimmy squeezed Tony's hand.

"Oh, dear Anthony, I know you are trying so hard to hang on. But really we will be ok; just heartbroken without you." Ducky said.

"I will keep an eye on Kate and the baby. She's going to get so sick of me. She thought you were annoying, she hasn't seen annoying yet." Gibbs smiled at Kate who sadly smiled back. "I'm going to miss you son."

After their goodbyes, the team sat quietly as they watched their friend slip away.

"Is he in pain?" Abby asked.

"No Abigail. They have him on high doses of pain medication. He is not feeling anything." Ducky explained.

Tony's breathing took a sharp turn as it became very noisy and irregular. Kate knew he had trouble breathing ever since the plague, but this was different. It was like a gurgling sound. Kate laid down next to Tony and put her head on his chest as she listened to his heart for what she believed was the last time.

Tony opened his glassy emerald eyes and raised his left hand to run his long fingers through Kate's hair. It surprised her and the team to see him awake. He then gently touched her belly and halfway smiled before looking into Kate's teary eyes.

"I…love…you." Tony weakly said.

"I love you so much Tony!" Kate said placing a tender kiss on his slack lips.

His eyes slowly closed and his breathing slowed before he let out a long sigh. When he didn't draw in another breath Kate tried to wake him.

"Tony. Tony! Open your eyes. Wake up for me." Kate began to cry.

The hospice doctor stood beside Ducky as Ducky listened to Tony's chest.

"Caitlin, I am so sorry." Ducky shook his head.

"No!" Kate screamed as she held Tony's body and placed her head on his chest. "Don't leave me!"

The team sat in silence as the weight of reality set in. Anthony DiNozzo Jr. was really gone. Time passed by slowly, but no one wanted to leave.

Senior came running into the house looking for someone, anyone only to find them all crying in the den.

"How is he doing?" Senior asked.

"He's gone. Died about 10 minutes ago." Gibbs informed him. "I am so sorry."

"Dang D.C. traffic, I tried to make it here as soon as my flight landed." Senior said, attempting to show that he was upset.

"The funeral home will be here shortly. Take your time, we will clear out so you can have some time with him." Gibbs said trying to round up the team.

Palmer and McGee helped Kate off the bed. She was in too much shock and denial to give much of a fight.

"I am so sorry Kate. Tony loved you so much." Senior said taking Kate into his arms.

"He's gone…I can't believe he's gone." She whispered into his chest.

"Come on Kate." Gibbs said trying to steer her away.

Senior went in and sat down beside Tony's bed. His son was pale and didn't move. One thing that was unnerving about Anthony DiNozzo Jr. was that he was always moving. Now in death he had become still.

Senior ran his fingers through Tony's soft hair, filled with regret that he and Tony still had so much unfinished business between them. Although they had started attempting to mend their fractured relationship after Tony got sick, there was still unfinished business between them and now that would never get resolution.

"I put you through a lot as a kid. Despite that you grew up to be a good man. One who would give everything for those you loved. You were better at that than I was. I wish you could be here to raise your son. You would have made a good father. A much better father than I had been to you. I am going to do better as a grandfather than I had as a father. I will make sure of it."


	15. Chapter 15

None of the team wanted to be alone after Tony died. Abby and Gibbs made sure Kate and the baby were well taken care of. The day of the funeral was a complete blur for Kate. She was having a tough time with losing Tony, not to mention her emotions were all over the place with her being pregnant. Everyday Kate would wake up and go straight for the cemetery, just to spend time with Tony. Her fingers ran across his headstone. It read _Very Special Agent Anthony D. DiNozzo Jr. Loving Son, Husband and Father._

She still couldn't believe that Tony would never be able to meet their baby. It didn't seem fair. As things go, everyone had gone back to work, leaving her home alone…in the same house Tony died in. Kate would catch herself going to the den to check on Tony only to be hit with the reality that he was no longer there. She spent most of her days crying over what she had lost. Breathing in the scent of the shirts that Tony had worn.

After a few weeks, Kate decided it was time to move on. Not from the loss of Tony, but with her life. Her son was due in a few short months and she wanted to be the best mom she could be. She contacted Brad and set up some volunteer time on the children's floor at Bethesda. Kate would go in a couple of times a week and read to children fighting cancer.

Thankfully her pregnancy was progressing well. It was really the one thing that held her together while everything else around her seemed to be falling apart.

Kate was reaching her 40th week of pregnancy. Abby went with her to her doctor's appointment, to Kate's amusement, she thought it was only so Abby could drool over the doctor.

"Hello, Mrs. DiNozzo." Dr. Fox shook Kate's hand.

As Dr. Fox checked he made some interesting notes before sharing.

"Kate, have you been having any pain?" The doctor asked.

"I mean I've been having a lot of pressure down low." Kate answered.

"Understandably so. Your baby has dropped…"

"Dropped? Is he ok?" Abby panicked.

"He's fine. It just means he is getting into position for birth. Your about 95 percent effaced. I would say you will start dilating in a day or two and your contractions will start soon. I can honestly say your baby will be born this week." Dr. Fox smiled.

Kate had a date she wished her baby boy would come on, but she didn't feel like she would be that lucky.

"If you start having contractions or if your water breaks, call the hospital, have them page me. I don't care if you think it is false labor, I want you to get here and I will meet you in Labor and Delivery." Dr. Fox smiled as he helped a heavily pregnant Kate off the examining table.

As Kate waddled out to Abby's car, things just felt different. Her little man was kicking and squirming big time.

"How about we go grab some lunch?" Abby said as she helped Kate into the car.

"That would be nice Abbs." Kate said.

She tried to hide the fact that her baby boy was kicking the crap out of her on the ride to the diner.

After the girls ordered, Kate needed to go to the bathroom…bad.

"Abby, can you help me up? Need to run to the little girl's room." Kate smiled.

"Of course! Do you need me to come with you?" Abby asked.

"No I think I can…" Kate felt a sudden burst followed by a gush going down her legs.

Abby gasped when she realized what was going on. Kate looked at her in shock.

"Abby, I think my water just broke." Kate turned red, embarrassed that it chose now to break in the middle of a full diner.

"Oh my God, oh my God, Oh my God! Kate you're having a baby!" Abby started to panic.

"Yes Abbs, I've known that for about nine months." Kate smiled trying to sit down.

Kate had a pain cross her abdomen that caused her to grab onto it and hold back a scream. Didn't help matters much that Abby freaked out when she put two and two together and figured out that Kate was in labor.

"Oh my God, what am I supposed to do? I gotta call Gibbs!" Abby said as she called Gibbs.

"Yeah Gibbs." Gibbs answered.

"Oh My God Gibbs! So we have a situation." Abby said really fast.

"Abby, what is going on?" Gibbs questioned.

He was met by hearing Kate in the background. He could hear her moaning and was barely able to say "help me."

"Abby, Is Kate in labor?" Gibbs felt a knot in his throat but yet excitement all at the same time.

"Yep!" Abby said in a chipper voice.

"And where are you two girls?" Gibbs growled.

"Oh we are at the diner having lunch." Abby smiled.

"Abby, get Kate to the hospital! I will meet you guys there." Gibbs said before snapping his phone shut.

It took a while in between contractions, but Abby was able to get Kate to the car. Abby was freaking out during the drive to the hospital. She was driving slow to try and not cause Kate anymore pain.

"Breathe Kate, in and out." Abby tried to coach Kate.

"Abby car!" Kate screamed as Abby nearly rear ended a car.

30 minutes later Abby and Kate finally made it to the hospital. Kate's contractions had started becoming harder.

"It's about time you two get here." Gibbs said helping Kate out of the car.

"Abby tried to kill me on the way over." Kate snorted.

"I'm sorry I wanted us to get there in one piece." Abby said, receiving a look from Gibbs and Kate.

"I have already told them you were coming. Dr. Fox is already up there waiting for you." Gibbs smiled as he went to hand her off to a nurse.

"Gibbs, please go with me." Kate pleaded.

How could he say no to the woman he looked at as a daughter.

"Of course, I will." Gibbs said as he followed the nurse to the elevator.

After 10 hours of hard labor and not much progress, Kate was ready to give up.

"I want Tony! Please Gibbs, get Tony in here!" Kate begged and cried.

"Shh…it's ok Kate, I am right here." Gibbs tried to calm the widow. He patted her forehead with a cool washcloth. "Just focus on having a healthy baby. Tony would be very proud of the way you are handling your labor."


End file.
